I don't know where to start ...

Hello, it's me, we've been together so long now that I feel like these opening sentences are beginning to sound the same.

Have I reached that point in my life where my brain shuts off? 

This is a major possibility, but I mean that in the literal sense.

IT's no secret that I am not a young girl anymore, in fact, in the CF community I am considered "Elder," so you know what that means... peri-meopause and the like.

But this post isn't about that. I am going to get a little personal on this, if you will allow me.

I had my yearly lady test done. Block your ears, men, or close your eyes; however, I do encourage you to read on. I mean, your wives are all going to go through this, and maybe with the results that I am going through.

So my test resulted in some HPV. I will have to undergo a type of test that will confirm if I have, in fact, contracted some type of HPV that could lead to other issues. Because some of the life-saving medications I take due to transplant, there is a higher chance of getting some form of... well, I don't even want to put that out there. Let's just say I am not opposed to cleaning out the system.

During this visit to my Doctor, I requested a chest x-ray and a sternum x-ray.

Chest x-ray because I had a pretty bad head cold that managed to find its way into my lungs, and I just wanted to make sure that there wasn't anything to be worried about, that there wasn't any pseudomonas or pneumonia sitting in the deep dark corners of my chest. All seemed clear, nothing to be concerned about. Praise Jesus.

However, during this head/chest cold, I did cough a lot. Deep painful coughs, being CF, the one thing we were trained to do is cough it all out. I have learned to cough to the depths of hell. No bug is taking me out that quickly. So, needless to say, this coughing may have done other damage.

Thus bringing in the request to check my Sternum. Results came in quite a bit later than I would have thought. Turns out, there was some damage. The wires that have been holding my sternum together for the past 16 years have broken, and my sternum is unattached. Maybe I am using the wrong wording here, but it's pretty simple, it is cracked, split, separated, however you want to word it.

So I have all my follow-up appointments on the same day. On Friday, I have an MRI for my head, to find out what is causing my headaches, then I have an appointment with my OBGYN, and then I have my CT scan of my lungs. Amazing what you can do when you fight for yourself.

This is something I am very good at. I will advocate for myself, my body and everything I need to keep my body and mind healthy. Try and stop me. I will advocate for my fellow CF'ers, and I have done just that, and will continue to do this until doctors realize that they don't have control over our bodies, we live in them daily, we are the ones who are repairing them and taking notes on what is happening each and every single day.

We live to fight for the next generation of CF'ers coming up the pipeline.

"CF Superhero since 1979"

We have done so much for this coming generation, only for me to realize that my generation has to do it all again. We are living in a time that no one has studied, lived longer than ever before. No one has done any studies on CF women or men after 40, post-transplant and how our medication affects our hormones as we age, and most importantly for me, but my hormones after transplant, where we cannot receive hormone replacements when we start peri-menopause.

There are so many questions that our doctors cannot answer, and they can't because this is uncharted territory. Let the poking and prodding commence. Let's study adults with CF who are unable to take gene-modulating therapies. I will keep you all posted, and we will see how all this goes as time passes.

Wish us luck as we brace for an adventure into the unknown.

I will update you on how the follow-ups go.

Be well, stay safe, stay hydrated and lift with your legs, not your back!

~A